He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Is it penis luge time yet?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
