All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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