Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
