PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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