belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
