What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
