i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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