Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
