didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she was so not down for the gang bang
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
