You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
