In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
