just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
