Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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