You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
