guys are only as good as the porn they watch
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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