Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
