think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
