I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
