bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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