i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
ok first of all what the fuck
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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