I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
