Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
