If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
