pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
