I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
