I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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