I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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