His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What a dumb baby whore.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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