Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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