My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
