I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
