Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't make out with my wife yet
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
