Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
