VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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