I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
