i just google imaged poop.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
