i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
