Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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