Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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