I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
