I'm going to jail i love you
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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