Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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