thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
