Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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