dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
