it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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