Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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