we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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