the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
