i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
